


and there's nothing that i wouldn't do for you

by huntressed



Category: Girl Meets World
Genre: Angst, F/M, but I turned it into slight angst instead lmao, drinking at 18 is underage drinking right?, this was supposed to be a Christmas fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2016-12-23
Packaged: 2018-09-11 09:00:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8973256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/huntressed/pseuds/huntressed
Summary: He’s aware that Maya is holding up her end of the deal, meeting the world with Riley but still playing the long game with him. He doesn’t want her to enclose herself to anyone else too, so he doesn’t show himself to her on a daily basis. He just lets life do whatever it wants to do with them. The knowledge of someday reaching the end of the long game with her is enough to keep him going.





	

Circles. It’s the one word that defines their relationship ever since they were kids. They had been circling each other even before they knew what feelings are, and at one point Maya thinks that they might as well be two parallel lines. There, but not quite meeting. She remembers numerous times where Josh repeatedly tells her that he’s too old for her, but never really quite turning her down. So she holds on to that hope that maybe when he’s not _too old_ for her anymore, he’ll like her back.

                And then there is this one fateful day in the ski lodge where he tells her that he likes her too. Maya suggests they hold each other’s hands for those six weeks in between their birthdays that he’s only two years older than her, Josh denies the suggestion. He did come up with a better one, though, and that makes the blonde happier than expected.

                He’s out there, and she’s out there too. That’s something she could get behind.

                Besides, she doesn’t want to miss out on the world too. So she takes his promise of playing the long game with her, and goes on to meeting the world with her favourite Matthews.

                For Maya, meeting the world and not missing out on anything it offers her involves lot of crazy antics that got too crazy for Riley. She starts to date a senior during their junior year, and up until now, they’re still dating. However, Maya’s aware that he’s a cloud of negativity. Always angry, always pissed off at whatever it is the world did to him, always in a melodramatic mood that sets Maya in a pissed off mood as well.

                Before, she doesn’t think that negativity is contagious. She’s been so negative around Riley before and Riley never catches the negativity from Maya. But now, she’s not so sure. Conversations with this guy are running dry, and she doesn’t have the same amount of interest anymore. She knows that this relationship is not worth keeping anymore, but yet she stays every time he asks her to. It’s unhealthy, and she knows it.

                Apart from that, Maya’s too adventurous. She’s always looking for what else is out there in the world, and he’s too sheltered. Always staying in the lines of his comfort zone, never really trying anything until she does. He didn’t even drink until the first year of college, and that fact alone causes him to overreact about Maya’s underage drinking.

                He would be too controlling and possessive. At there even was one time where he had accused Maya of lying to him just so she could go out with her friends for a few drinks. “Is that what you think of me?” Maya asks, there is hurt in her eyes, and hands are trembling in anger. “No, I’m sorry I didn’t know what I was thinking.” _That’s because you never do._ She wants to say.

                It’s her senior year of high school and somehow she gets roped into going to a college party with her boyfriend. He goes to NYU (Maya’s not going to lie, she thinks of Josh whenever the world ‘NYU’ gets brought up) and is taking Computer Sciences there. She meets two or three of his friends and she’d taken a liking to them, how he fits into their circle is really unknown to her.

                The party is just like how she expected it to be. It is filled with alcohol, dancing people, and a multitude of people with contrasting personalities yet still blends into the crowd almost artistically. Maya wishes she has a sketchbook with her so she could draw this whole thing, it’s a part of who she is now. It’s in her system, and she would very much like the people she loves to see this part of her – no matter how messy it is.

                Her boyfriend – Xander, that’s his name – goes off to get drinks for the two of them. Maya insists that she doesn’t want to drink, but he pays no attention to her answer, coming back with beer in solo cups.

                “Xander, I have no intention of drinking tonight. How many times do I have to remind you?” She asks him, frustration very evident upon the tone she uses.

                “And how many times do I have to remind you to let loose, Maya? You’re in fucking high school, it’s not worth the stress you want.” And then he laughs.

                Out of frustration, Maya takes the solo cup from his hand and downs it in one gulp. She hears a cheer from Xander and she wants to slap his face, she only ever drinks tonight because he’s being annoying, and she really doesn’t have the energy to deal with him. She wanders off like she normally does during these parties, and she’s sure that she could call a cab for when she’s drunk off her arse. Xander can catch a ride by himself.

                It’s not really what she plans to do for the rest of the night, but Maya is trying to look for Josh in this sea of people. Something that she once had vowed to never do again, because this is the world, and she will gravitate to him eventually. But there’s always an exception for everything, tonight is the exception of her rule stating that she must never look for Josh ever.

                However, she fails. Maya ponders over calling him tonight, but she downs the thought out with alcohol. Because tonight is not the night where she would end up calling Joshua Matthews after successfully resisting any urge to come to him by choice. Yes, they are still friends. But Maya only ever talks to him during chance encounters (which kind of happens a lot because she’s over at the Matthews on a daily basis, and so was he) and in these chance encounters, they happen to have great conversations which involves Maya laughing and admiring him even more.

                The thought lingers at the back of her head, and it scares Maya to the point where she takes a bottle of beer and drinks it straight up. Without a care in the world, she begins dancing and talking to lots of other people. But all of that becomes a little unsettling as she feels the contents of her stomach go up.

                Maya throws up in the upstairs bathroom with no one to hold her hair. She cries. It’s the first time she does, and she does so because she’s not entirely sure if her decision to stay with Xander after a year is a good one. Although there are times when she actually does feel happy with him, most of that gets drowned out by the amount of things that slips out of his mouth.

                And with that, Maya doesn’t know how to manage his emotional baggage, or his choice of dwelling on the negativity that happens in his life. Every minute he has something to be pissed about and Maya is not so sure if she could continue on becoming his moral compass or happiness anymore. It’s tiring, and she’s definitely not cut out for that role.

                Her mind is buzzing with thoughts about Xander and Josh, her vision is clear but everything around her is a blur as she tries her best to navigate through the crowd with faceless people everywhere. The lights are way too bright for her liking and the loud music makes her want to cover her ears in a dozen of pillows while wearing formula one headphones. Everything just becomes irritating.

                By the minute she’s out of the house, she presses the call button on a specific contact.

 

*****

 

Josh hates college. He thinks he’s ready for all of it, but then everything just falls apart when he realizes that there’s a lot of pressure lying on his shoulders. Cory hopes for him to become a great architect. Morgan has always told him to not do anything he’s not happy about. His mother always brings up the topic of what his job will be like when he graduates. Eric’s just crazy. And his father expects for him to succeed in life the way all of his siblings have.

                Safe to say that it leaves Josh in an irritated and pressured mood.

                He doesn’t have any exams tomorrow, but he is working on a plate that determines a quarter of his grade. Albeit not that much, every point counts. Besides, where the hell are these professors going to get his grades if he turns in a completely useless plate? So he puts in every single bit of his effort into all of his plates – just to make sure he doesn’t disappoint anyone.

                In the midst of working through different lines made by his fine-tipped marker, his thoughts come to the form of a tiny blonde. He’s aware that Maya is holding up her end of the deal, meeting the world with Riley but still playing the long game with him. He doesn’t want her to enclose herself to anyone else too, so he doesn’t show himself to her on a daily basis. He just lets life do whatever it wants to do with them. The knowledge of someday reaching the end of the long game with her is enough to keep him going.

                While he doesn’t really let himself be bothered about the fact that Maya is with a guy for a year already, he doesn’t date anyone else. His circle of friends have been nagging him nonstop about his current relationship status, but Josh never answers. Nor does he ever give in whenever they set him up with another girl. His plates are enough to get him by, and no girl will ever pass the standards that Maya had set.

                Though in a number of events, his friends had asked him if there is someone who owns his big heart already. Josh wouldn’t give them any answers, though. But it didn’t take long for them to catch on that there is, in fact, a girl he’s besotted with. They still set him up with some girls, but Josh declines them and they shut up at the first sign of “no”.

                He snaps out of his reverie when his phone rings, the “Marimba” ringtone playing loudly in his dorm room. His hand picks up the phone and his expression changes from passive to complete surprise. Maya never calls him. Sometimes there are random messages from Maya, sending him different pictures of architectural inspiration, but she never calls.

                “Hey Maya.” He greets upon accepting the call, but he barely hears anything from the caller as the background noise is too loud. That’s when he concludes that Maya is in a party.

                “Josh, hey, so I’m at a party but I fucking hate it here. It’s like, two blocks away from your dorm and I’m sorry if I call you at half past one just to ask you to pick me up. I know you’re probably sleeping or working on dishes but please… I need you.” The last part is barely even audible, but the soundless atmosphere in Josh’s dorm room enables him to catch on to that.

                Panic sets in and he’s already taking his jacket out of the closet, wearing it and walking outside the door of his dorm room in less than ten seconds. He could sense Maya’s lack of comfort, and he walks out the dorm room faster than the goddamn Flash just to get to her.

                (He doesn’t really call it love yet, but he knows that it might as well be.)

                “Is that the party at some guy named Levi?” He asks. The place is familiar for his friends had texted him about the party a few hours ago. If only he had gone, he would have seen Maya. But right now, coming to her aid is much more important than the “what could have been” questions in his part.

                “Yes. I’m about to go outside. But fuck Josh you know how I’m with Xander and I’ve always convinced myself that he and I could work? God, I was so wrong. It’s you. It’s always been you and I don’t think it will ever fucking stop being you. I did everything! Went to see what life has in store for me, but I don’t think I’ll ever be contented or as happy as I am with you and I just… I miss you Josh. So much.”

                Those string of words definitely leaves Josh in a dumbstruck expression, but he manages to prevent himself from halting in the middle of the street upon Maya’s sudden burst of confession. He walks through two blocks and finds Maya sitting on the curb with her phone pressed against her ear, index finger and thumb placed on her temples.

                Josh quickly tucks the phone in his pocket and runs over to the blonde, “I’m here Maya.”

                “Can I – can I stay with you tonight? Please? I don’t want Riley to worry and my mom and Shawn thinks I’m staying over at another friend’s.” She sighs, wiping away the remaining tears on her cheek.

                “Of course, Maya. Come on, let’s go.” He places his arm around her shoulders, and she falls into him so perfectly like they’re two pieces of a puzzle. Josh likes it, but he knows that there’s more things that he should think of – like Maya’s mental state – instead of thinking about how perfectly she fits against him.

                The entire walk back to his dorm room is spent in silence. The dorm supervisor isn’t around so Josh got Maya inside without really that much of a problem. Besides, it’s not like everyone religiously follow the dorm rules in NYU. He thinks it’s just there for the sake of being there.

                “Can I use your shower?” She asks, her voice so soft and silent that it’s completely unusual for him. Most of the time, Maya’s outspoken, loud, and incredibly confident. But here she is, so vulnerable in front of him that it makes Josh break a little bit inside.

                “Of course. I’ll get you some comfortable clothes you can sleep in.” He replies before making his way to his bedroom to grab a shirt that’s a little too small for him, and Riley’s training shorts that she left in his dorm. He pulls out a towel from his cabinet and gently knocks on the bathroom door.

                The door opens, but only Maya’s arm comes out to reach for the clothes and towel. He doesn’t want her to feel uncomfortable or pressured, so he settles for this: “If you need anything else, I’ll be on the couch.”

                If Maya Hart needs help at half past one in the midnight, then Josh would be there in a heartbeat. They both know that they shouldn’t really rush into this long game, and just take their sweet time in knowing different people that could bring them different things. But sometimes, Josh thinks that Maya shouldn’t even settle for others simply because they do not deserve her.

                Nobody in the world deserves Maya Hart. Well, maybe only Riley Matthews, but that’s because they’re this universe’s version of soulmates in a completely platonic manner. As for anybody else? They could look away because there is nothing that they could ever do to deserve Maya Hart’s unfailing loyalty.

                He vaguely remembers the time when he and Maya had been playing in the backyard of his family’s house back in Philadelphia. Little seven-year-old Maya and little nine-year-old Josh had been pretending to be a prince and a princess when Maya takes a stick and says, “Princesses should be allowed to fight, too! Not just princes, kings, and knights!” Little Josh raises his eyebrows, trying his best to put his mind as to why this little blonde girl in front of him would want to fight.

                “But girls don’t like blood! You can’t fight!” He tries to justify, only to earn a glare from Maya.

                “We fight to protect people, Josh. Not to kill.”

                Maybe that’s the moment where he starts to fall for Maya, maybe not. But he’s entirely sure that right at that moment is when he starts to feel _something._

                The couch sinks next to him and there’s Maya, drying her hair as she sits with her feet tucked underneath each other. It’s silence between them, and he’s not sure if it comforts her or just makes her feel outright uncomfortable. So he plays it by ear and sits in a position where he’s directly facing her.

                “What happened, Maya?”

                “I just… I just thought so much of what happened and what I did wrong. It’s more of an emotional baggage thing.” She shrugs, and he notices that she’s trying to play it cool.

                “You called me at one am, Maya. You were crying and telling me that you miss me. Did Xander do something? Because I swear to God I will –“

                “Josh no, its fine. Xander didn’t do anything. It was all me. I know I was supposed to break up with him months ago when everything went downhill, but I thought – I just thought it was going to work, you know?”

                He tries not to take it personally, “Why not end it now?”

                “I can’t even if I tried. He’d beg me to stay, and I’d feel guilty.”

                “Maya, you should never stay in a relationship just because you feel guilty about hurting him. That’s unhealthy, and everyone knows it. If he has to depend on you to feel happy, than that says more about him than it does you. We’ll be here to support you whatever happens; me, Riley, and the rest of your friends. Just do what’s going to make you happy Maya, and I know that staying with him is not that.”

                Her blue eyes meet his and he could see the understanding and the contemplation in her gaze. She sighs, and then she stands up, “I’m going to sleep.”

                Josh nods and goes back to making his plate extra pretty, this time he has more drive to make it look as artistic as ever. Probably because Maya’s here and he doesn’t really want to embarrass himself in front of her. So he patiently creates the lines on the plate and brushes paint over it like it’s an important relic.

                And while he’s doing it, all he could ever think about is Maya.

                The clock reads two-thirty in the morning, and he could feel his eyelids dropping. He sets his things down in his study table and proceeds over to his bedroom to get a blanket from his cabinet. The initial plan is to come in there, get a blanket, and leave – but when he sees Maya’s small frame curled up under his duvet, he couldn’t help but to sit down on the bed beside her and stare at her.

                How could someone with such a huge presence look and feel so small? He recalls looking at Maya’s short stature as she walks away to his bedroom, wearing his shirt. He also remembers when he placed his arm around her as they walk through the streets of New York City, she feels so small. Like her bones are made of fairy dust and starlight.

                He presses a kiss against Maya’s forehead with a whisper of “goodnight”, and then he walks out into the living room and falls asleep on his couch with a hopeful heart.


End file.
